#21 Trusting Your Own Instinct: Two Stories - Skiing during the School Year, and Coal during the War

Nika’s Blog #21 Life Begins at 90:  Trusting Your Own Instinct

Every blog posting I have written is triggered by some event close to home. My memories are buzzing in my head ---- looked at now from the perspective of advanced age.

In the world in which I grew up, the father was the head of the family; mothers did not work but had enough to keep them busy training help and supervising the upbringing of children.

To question authority was unthinkable. A little child had to be quiet and obey.

Here I come, a born fighter, but had to keep what I think to myself most of the time.

As a married woman  with 2  children I had  to relearn   how  to  behave and fit into this new society.

In winter in Poland we used to skate and ski. Poland has a strong, long winter. It was our custom during the winter even indoors to wear sweaters. Here in America I found the schools overheated, and the children half asleep in mid-winter instead of going outside and enjoying winter sports. 

I cannot help it that there is seldom snow on Christmas during the winter vacation, but there is usually a lot of good skiing in February, with warmer spring skiing conditions.   So when our children were in elementary and junior high school, I went to the principal of our children’s public school in White Plains, Westchester, NY, and asked to have them set free for 10 days during  the 2  presidents’  birthdays.  This was before there was a Presidents’ weekend in February.  Dr. Noyce, the principal, asked “What if all children would leave?”  I said, looking at these lethargic students in overheated school rooms, “I wish they could all go to enjoy Winter.  Each year we had the same exchange. After four years when I came again to get permission to take our children out of school, Dr. Noyce said “I wish you could take them all with you.”  Finally he understood.  

All these children would have come back invigorated and full of new energy, but the system did not allow it.        

Now thinking of Valentine’s Day, existing only in UK and US,

I admire the lovely custom of sending cards, flowers and candy and showing love. Slowly the rest of the world is doing it.

 

I found that we only enjoy a new environment and criticize things that make no sense when one is dislocated from the familiar.

Americans take many things for granted that only refugees from more dictatorial places admire and take advantage of.  The freedom to protest and to change things - what a luxury in this world!   I am grateful watching my grandchildren feel to speak and not to be afraid.   Happy Valentine  !!!!!!

 

---

(Daughter-in-law Wendy responded to the above story with admiration, saying I had “balls”!)

Somehow, while we were on the subject of courage (balls as Wendy calls it) suddenly I remembered a day during the war in Lwow, where I was working in an office under an assumed name.  My boss called me, and handed me a paper asking the German officials for a heating coal allotment, which in the very cold winter is a necessity.

   

Without any thought in my head I went to the given address, where I saw people shivering and standing in a long line around the block.  I had no idea why they were there.  I just climbed up the empty staircase on the left, and in a few minutes found myself looking at a German official sitting behind the desk. 

“Why are you here?”  

“I came to get a coal allotment for my office.”

You never heard such laughter from a serious looking gentleman and his entourage, as if I just told them a good joke.  

He replied in German, “Why do you think all these people are standing and waiting in line?”  I answered, “Well, in that case they will never get it.  I am already here. Why not give me the permit now?”    

--Yes, I got it!  When I arrived back in my office I handed the precious permit to my boss.  He said, “I knew you would get it!” 

Story of my life -- never follow the rules if  possible. Amen. 

But…how can you tell this to your children?

(A draft of the above blog led daughter-in-law Wendy Kohn to respond:)

That's exactly what I mean. I don't think Alicia or I would have done that and sometimes it worries me that we follow rules so closely.

How did you get so brazen, Nika?

Wendy

(to which Nika replied)

My Darling, you will never know --  

nor could any  normal  person in our usual life ever know –

how you would behave.  Let’s hope this kind of war and sick people will not be a challenge to our grandchildren. The Holocaust will be studied for centuries by psychiatrists all over the  world, and they will find no answer.

Genghis Khan is still studied today -   how a wild horde of people  showed up on their ponies from Asia and conquered everything  in their path. 

We are experiencing now global changes that no one ever expected.

Justice and lack of prejudices is a pure utopia-  although every church teaches kind and compassionate behavior as a vision to attain.

Enough for one day  -  I rarely am so serious.

Smile and do the best you can with what you've got.

Good luck from Mamusia Nika.   

Valentine 2015,  Sedona

PS When we least expect a miracle it might happen?   

  

- Nika Fleissig

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