In previous blogs I
covered all kinds of happy and sad memories which were triggered
by some happening at the moment. I now had a few days that made me feel
like staying home, so I went across the street to Verizon to ask some help from
the friendly manager Brenda to teach me a few more things I can
find in my new smart phone. Also, my daughter Alicia showed me new
possibilities such as actually reading books on my phone! Advantages -- much lighter to hold than a heavy book, and I can adjust the size of the letters.
Well, I could not
play bridge all day online, and painting requires too much
concentration. I just felt like reading a book without going to the
library.
All of us widows have
one thing in common - too much time. Most friends if you live past
90 have left this world. “Never
give up,” I said to myself.
So I clicked the Amazon Kindle icon, and tried to find
something cheerful to read. I found a funny title: “Old Girls in Low Cotton,” written by Helen
Childress. I laughed all the time and admired her style.
The second book, “The Girl
in room 14” by Carol Drinkwater, made me think of a good few
years ago when I became a widow at 65. Once upon a time in my
grandmother’s time 65 was really old, but not anymore. For me 65 was
a new beginning.
The advantage of that age:
we are independent. Our children are grown up, on their own, busy with their
children. So we then ask ourselves what
to do with the rest of our life.
My husband, Alfred
Fleissig and I had enjoyed 10 winter seasons in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. San Miguel de Allende is, and was, a paradise for painters. I never learned more or did better work than during those 10 years taking classes at Bellas Artes. I learned enough Spanish to survive in Mexico, and loved every minute we spent there, with good friends we made.
Unfortunately, there is no hospital. Americans who retired there had to be flown to Houston, Texas, if they got sick. A great disadvantage of the village for anyone with a heart condition is that it sits at an altitude of 8000
ft. Fred, at 77 years of age, could no longer breathe well at that altitude,
and I realized that we had to get out quickly.
I managed to swap our townhouse with an apartment in West Palm Beach,
Florida, at sea level, where my husband would be healthier.
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San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, 1981. Alfred is standing, 4th from the left. Nika is standing on right, in green dress. Alicia is kneeling in center. |
I hated the change and
cried my eyes out, walking along the ocean so that nobody can see me. But for
Fred it was a good change moving to Florida. He was happy there and could
breathe more easily, and enjoyed the balmy weather.
After only eight
months my husband of 38 years died at the age of 78, and I
thought the “tunnel closed up” -
no future for me.
I ran away for 3 weeks,
and cried all over Europe. It was raining everywhere I went, so I traveled to
Israel hoping for better weather. I had a year of mourning… and truly mourned - not
only him, but also my own family who had all been killed in the War - for the
first time. I never had had time before
when I was busy adjusting to a new life in America and bringing up
children. But after my husband died, I
suddenly felt alone. I just walked, and
thought, and wondered, what next?
You have to believe that
there are miracles and surprises.
It happened to me.
Upon my return home, I
became friends with a Polish man, Andrew Kaspzrak, whom my husband and I had
met briefly before. He lived in the same apartment complex in West Palm Beach. We were on the 21st floor, and his
apartment was on the 15th floor. Andrew had offered to pick up my mail, and
delivered it to me when I returned home. He was the same age as I, 65. He had left Poland a few years earlier, escaped
from the Communist system in Poland, was granted asylum, and started a new life in US. He had
a genius for manufacturing and marketing clothes, furs, and other items, and
was somehow able to make money and have a fancy car, even under the Communist
restrictive economy. But he hated the
restrictions, and found a way to leave Poland. Andrew was separated from his
wife, and living on his own. His son
followed him, supposedly taking part of the boat races, brought with him a
new Mercedes car his father had left behind, and also settled in West Palm
Beach.
Slowly Andrew and I helped each
other to start a new life at 65. I had to learn to play tennis
since Andrew loved the sport. Since my right arm has no strength I learned to play "vicious tennis" with my left arm! We started traveling all over the world to all
the places we had missed because of the Second World War. Our teenage and young adult years had been
taken from us, and now, in our mid- 60’s, 70’s, and
into our 80’s, we were free to enjoy life like kids. We went on cruises,
traveled in trains across Europe, and even found our way to the North Pole for
my 80th birthday in May of 2000!
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| Andrew and Nika in Iquitos, Peru |
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| Nika traveled to Peru despite a broken arm. See the cast on her right arm |
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| Nika and Andrew at the Ice Palace Igloo Hotel at the North Pole, 2000 |
Now, in 2015, after
being alone for 10 years, (Andrew died at age 85) I am reading a book about the
French Riviera. I recall being on a
train to Cannes in France, and across from us a nice lady listening
to our plans said, “Why don’t you try something new…not as busy and full
of tourists as Cannes or the rest of Riviera: the name is Menton.”
We
had never heard of it but we did it. Everything
was delightful in that place. Always stay
open to try new adventures - why not? I never forgot the great
new part of the Riviera to enjoy. Carol Drinkwater describes in her
book all the places I remember, and so I am smiling as I read her book.
Why
did I feel that I would like to tell my friends about it? Because I want to say
strongly never to think
life is over!! Surprises are
waiting around the corner if you are willing to take a chance! Now past
90 it is so pleasant to have such fond memories!!!!!
Now I have adventures
with my daughter here in Sedona, meeting new friends, younger people, and being
invited to places I never thought to be able to see before. I’m
looking forward to seeing the rest of my family, including my baby great-daughters,
just now 4 months old, this summer on Cape Cod.
A real family celebration!
Good luck to all of you
reading! Take a chance and have an
adventure!
- Nika Fleissig
Please Read all the past postings of my Blog Here:
http://www.lifebeginsat90.blogspot.com/
Order our book, From Miracle To Miracle: A Story of Survival (via PayPal):
http://www.FromMiracleToMiracle.com
Please view my art here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/nikafleissig/
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