Nika’s Blog #15 Lonely on, , the Holidays

Life Begins at Ninety – Nika’s Blog #15

Lonely on the Holidays

Basically we are  lonely, even if we are surrounded by many people,  don’t you agree? Especially during Christmas and New Year.  Lots of people have no one to go to or celebrate with.  Yes, there are many good organizations providing food and help, but still many people are alone at the last chapter of their life.

  

That brings memories to me now, at my age of 94, of when I was 23 years old and all alone, living under a false name - Maria Zylinska - in Warsaw during World War II, from 1943-4, and hoping not to be recognized as Bronislawa Felicja Kohn from Krakow.  I had bought documents supplied by the underground so that I could survive and not be found out as a Jew and therefore under threat of death.

Every day going to work kept me busy, and in the afternoons I was teaching English to 4  students who probably still talk with my accent if they are alive.

Then came Christmas and they asked me where I am going to celebrate.  I was afraid to say that I am all alone. Everybody was suspicious that maybe one is hiding from being discovered as a Jew.  Then one day a young woman in our office invited me to her home to their festive dinner. Well, I was elated not to sit alone in my rented room.

I fixed myself up as best I could.  I had nothing pretty to wear, as all had been stolen, but I was full of anticipation about my first Christmas dinner in a Polish home.  It would be quite a great event!! The father of my friend was a university professor.  There were a few friends invited as well as family.

     

Very soon the subject of the Jewish situation came up and led to a heated discussion – and they said  “Germans are terrible, but at least they helped us get rid of our minority, the Jewish  people.”  They said other things that they never would have said if they knew I was Jewish, but I got to hear how people talk when they feel “safe” and can speak about how they really feel.  I could not swallow the food and felt crushed.

    

Last year my darling daughter Alicia  (Rabbi and spiritual leader in Sedona, Arizona)  was invited with me to return to Krakow for a presentation, one of several talks I gave there and in Warsaw.  But this particular one that made a huge impression on me was arranged by a very dedicated Dr. Prof  Aleks Skotnicki who helps any survivors of the Holocaust.  Prof. Skotnicki, who is not Jewish, founded a Dialogue Center in Krakow so that young people learn about the Holocaust and the dangers of racism and intolerance. Such a place and such an attitude would have been impossible to imagine  before the war.

I cannot describe  my feelings as I stood in 2014 on the same spot where I should have been shot  in 1942 when I found myself walking at 5 a.m. through the fields of the Blonia Park near my home in Krakow before the night-time curfew ended at 7a.m. This was just after my parents and brother and thousands of Jews were rounded up in Wielicka to be sent to a death camp, and before my “adventure” in Warsaw with a false identity had begun.

Later on during that memorable June day in 2014 as I was talking to a full room of older and younger Polish people (including Piotr and Marysia Pozniak, the children  of my piano teacher who saved my life… but that is a whole other chapter) I finally had a feeling of peace at the end of my life, and trying to forgive.

 

Now that I understand how lonely we can be surrounded by hundreds of well wishers, I ask myself could I do something about  helping people in Sedona where I am so happy, surrounded by love and respect?  Nobody deserves to be alone and suffer being old and forgotten!

 

Dec. 2014

Daughter Alicia adds:  In this post my mother mentioned several scenarios that are more fully described in our book “From Miracle to Miracle: A Story of Survival” about Nika’s wartime experiences, escaping seemingly certain death time and time again.  But the main theme of why she wanted to write this message in her blog was that she sensed the pain and loneliness that people can and do feel at this time of family gatherings and supposedly happy, close reunions with loved ones… and that doesn’t always happen.  She does spread cheer wherever she goes – to stores, restaurants, synagogue,  the post office, anywhere. She dresses beautifully and with colorful flair, and strikes up conversations with everyone and invites them home, especially for breakfast early in the morning, or for coffee (with brandy and whipped cream) in the late afternoon. I think she DOES add to the friendly connections of people in our community.  And she does help people get some perspective on all the blessings in their lives, although she doesn’t say it that way.  I mean, compared to what she went through, we all should thank our stars for much smaller challenges.

So I’m sending this out now before the secular New Year turning to 2015 in hopes that everyone reading this feels appreciated and connected, and reaches out so they do not feel lonesome.  Or come by Nika’s house, and we’ll both cheer you up!

Nika and Alicia at Hanukkah